I had a dream last night. The beginning of the dream was a bit hazy. Here’s what I could remember.
In the dream I decided to sign up for a weekend temp job working in a comics shop. However on the way to the comics shop, I was distracted by something and ended up being late for work.
As I hurried towards the comics shop, I tried to wear a orange-checkered shirt (the shop uniform) over my t-shirt. But when I reached the shop entrance, the manager stepped out and handed me a cheque with my day’s wages.
“I can’t do any more for you,” he said and stepped back into the shop. With that, I was fired.
I stuffed the cheque into my jeans pocket and started to walk down the stairs to the bus stop. I stopped halfway down the stairs and watched the buses drive past. Jade Phoenix joined me on the steps.
(A little background about Jade Phoenix: She was a friend from my university days. In the past, we used to meet up with other friends on the weekends to draw comics. I had not been in contact with her for at least the last ten years.)
Jade Phoenix watched the buses with me. Then she took a sip of the soft drink in her hand. Continuing to watch the buses, she said, “你回不去了。你现在还是继续吃你妈妈煮的饭，坐你妈妈的车去上班。” (Translation: You can’t go back. Now you should just continue to eat the rice your mother cooked, and sit in your mother’s car to go to work.)
I woke up from the dream with a sense of loss that you feel when you can no longer avoid saying goodbye to a part of your past.